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Wish and If Only: Teaching Unreal Past, Present Regret, and Complaints

'I wish I had studied harder.' 'If only it would stop raining.' Wish structures use past tenses to talk about the present — and that's what confuses everything.

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Matthew James Soldato

ESL Teacher & Founder of DrillKitMar 24, 2026

Why Past Tenses Don't Mean Past Time Here

This is the grammar point that makes students question everything they've learned about tenses. 'I wish I HAD a car.' HAD is past simple — but the meaning is present. The speaker doesn't have a car NOW and wishes the situation were different NOW. 'I wish I HAD STUDIED harder.' HAD STUDIED is past perfect — but the wish is about a past situation with present regret. English uses tense-backshifting in wish structures to create 'distance from reality.' The past tense doesn't mean past time — it means 'unreal, contrary to fact.' This concept — grammatical distance = unreality — is one of the most intellectually elegant features of English grammar. It's also one of the most confusing for learners.

The Three Wish Structures

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Wish + Past Simple = Present Regret

'I wish I HAD more free time.' (I don't have it now.) 'I wish I SPOKE French.' (I don't speak it now.) 'If only I WERE taller.' (I'm not tall.) Note: 'were' is used for all persons in formal English ('I wish I were' not 'I wish I was').

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Wish + Past Perfect = Past Regret

'I wish I HAD STUDIED harder.' (I didn't study hard enough — I can't change it now.) 'If only I HADN'T SAID that.' (I said it and I regret it.) These express regret about unchangeable past events.

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Wish + Would = Complaints/Requests

'I wish it WOULD stop raining.' (Complaint about an ongoing annoyance.) 'I wish you WOULDN'T make so much noise.' (Request to change behavior.) This structure is about situations that COULD change but annoyingly haven't.

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Teacher Tip

Ask students to write 3 present wishes ('I wish I had/were/could...') and 3 past regrets ('I wish I had done/been/gone...'). Share in pairs. This generates authentic, personal use of wish structures and creates genuine conversation. The emotional content (real regrets, real desires) makes the grammar memorable in a way that textbook exercises never achieve. Follow up with a class discussion: 'What's your biggest regret?' 'If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?'

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do we use past tense after wish?

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English uses tense backshift to express unreality. 'I wish I had a car' uses 'had' (past) to describe a PRESENT wish — because the situation is contrary to reality. The past tense creates 'distance' from what's real. The further back the tense, the more distant from reality: past simple = present unreality, past perfect = past unreality.

What is the difference between wish + past simple and wish + past perfect?

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'I wish I spoke French' (present — I don't speak French now and I want to). 'I wish I had studied French' (past — I didn't study French and now I regret it). Past simple wishes are about changeable present situations; past perfect wishes are about unchangeable past events.

Is it I wish I was or I wish I were?

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'I wish I were' is the grammatically traditional form (subjunctive mood). 'I wish I was' is increasingly common in informal English. For exams and formal writing, teach 'were'. For spoken English, accept both. The 'were' form is maintained in the fixed expression 'If I were you' almost universally.

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